Happy Monday!

That’s how I started my day… Happy Monday!  I started my day today feeling more energetic and motivated. I started my day with a little self care!

What do you think of when you think about Mondays?  Most likely, at some level you think of a new start, a new beginning.  Me too!

I have been gone for a while from my Blog.  This is what happens so often in life.  We get into a routine, things seems to be going smooth and we feel slightly “in control” of the balance beam and boom.  Life happens to all of us, all of the time!  Let’s face it, who would have predicted a two year pandemic?  

As a person that likes to succeed I struggle when I fall off of the balance beam.  I surely do not want to disappoint.  I do not want to disappoint those depending on me in any way and realize it or not, often the person most disappointed in me is ME.  We are often hardest on ourselves.

Negative self-talk is not always something we are aware of.  It can manifest in a feeling of avoidance.  Let’s think of this in terms that everyone can relate to- exercise.  Let’s say that your New Year’s resolution was to walk at least 20 minutes daily.  You did great with your resolution for months.  You started to feel better and to even have more energy.  Then, something happened and you missed a week.  Maybe you were swamped at word or came down with the Flu.  You fell behind.  Sometimes it is not always easy to get back into the routine.  Let’s face it- we are all built different.  We have different strengths and different challenges.  Personally, when I fall out of my routine, I find it hard to get back into it.  The longer I fall off of it, the harder it is.  Illness is the worst because often our body is still recovering long after our mind and we may take weeks to feel energetically ourselves. The longer we do not get back into our routine, the more we might avoid. It literally can be like climbing a hill, falling down, and feeling you do not have the courage to climb back up the hill for fear of falling down again. One way to approach this is to expect to fall down again… for after all, that is how life works. Be in tune to not just your thoughts, but your feelings. All sorts of thoughts, and even negative self-talk, can linger in our subconscious. Feelings that we “can’t” get back to where we were or that we will “never” accomplish our goals. The first step to getting back on track is to learn self-awareness. Great worldly advice was given in the popular song “Pick Yourself Up” composed in 1936 by Jerome Kern, with lyrics by Dorothy Fields and performed by Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers in the a936 classic film Swing Time...

Nothing’s impossible I have found,

For when my chin is on the ground,

I pick myself up,

Dust myself off,

Start all over again.

from Pick Yourself Up (1936)

We can take a hint from these lyrics and make any day a new beginning! Think about how many people change habits as part of a New Year’s resolution. Why wait for New Years? You can start anyday but why not today? Monday’s are great days for new beginnings and an absolutely fabulous time to let go of the past and start all over again. If you are struggling with starting new habits, or breaking old ones, reach out for some support!

What happened to Normal?

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It’s early morning as I raise the windows to let in the fresh air.

The day started extremely early, which is unusual around here, but I embraced the change and took the opportunity to go for a brisk walk as the sun was rising.  The world is so different in the wee morning hours.

It was as if I could hear God speaking, but just could not quite understand the language.  My journey was not rushed and I allowed myself to stroll slowly and take it all in.  Ah!

Without the noise of all the busyness, I was taken aback by the buzzing of a hummingbird that flew right past me to perch on a branch and allow me to see her beautiful colors.  Shortly another flew in to enjoy the succulent vine- never even noticing that I had joined to party.  

I paused in front of a house only a few blocks from my own- but seemed so far away.  As I looked around it was as if I was engulfed in nature.  At first appearing as overgrown and unmaintained, it was actually a gardeners delight… but it was not sharp and defined.  It was soft and gentle.  It was not perfect in its appearance or lines but it was so perfect in its feel.  It has an energy all its own that took my breath away.  In the quiet morning hours I felt at ease taking my time to stop and take it all in.

A small circular bench popped into view, nestled in the midst of wildflower haven.  Lovely beyond imagination! The sidewalk upon which I strolled was draped with lovely vines I wish I could identify.  The street and traffic seemed miles away when in actuality they were steps away-but the abundance of the lemon trees buffered the harshness of the roadway.  Lemons lined the walk on my left, the gardens filled my view to the right, and hummingbirds hovered all around.  When normally I feel blessed to catch the glimpse of one hummingbird I felt the whoosh of joy as I was in the middle of swarms of hummingbirds all around.  Had I found Hummingbird heaven?

It took all I could muster to continue down the sidewalk and on my simple journey.  I walked away, slowly turning back to catch one last glimpse of this magnificent garden- telling myself I would return often, but fearing that I will not.

Life has this way of sucking us up into the vortex and something so simple can seem so impossible.

I saw other attractive gardens along my walk and I longed for my own.  Slowing down and taking the morning air in, I reflected on life as I knew it growing up.

I grew up in what some may call a “one-horse” town.  I am not certain if any of my children have ever heard that lingo.  In short, a very small town in Louisiana.  Charming, but small.  Friendly, but small.  The Rice Capitol of the world, but small.  I thought it oo small for me. 

Another saying much more familiar, “hind sight is 20/20” or “absence makes the heart grow fonder” comes to mind as now I have so much more appreciation for this small town in which I grew up.

Home was home for my entire childhood.  There were no moving boxes.  Friends were within the boundaries of the neighborhood for the most part. Family was within a stones throw. 

Summers were hot, but much too short as there was a laundry list of fun to catch up on as school was out.   There was the regular thunderstorms that meant warm rain and ditches to run splash in.  There were the long days of endless play full of as much imagination as time would allow, and there were late nights of monopoly and cheese dip!  Labor day weekend always signified the school bells returning and thus the routine, but then Fall would be on its way.

Fall was the smell of Mama’s home cooking creeping out of the now open windows.  My favorite clothes of the year- oversized soft and cuddly sweaters. Friday night football games and hearing the band warm up at the stadium just down the street. My big brother the quarterback hero!

Spring was Mom flinging open the windows and rinsing them out with a pot of warm water and helping Dad to plant the colorful perennials. But there was still time to daydream about summer on its way. 

Life was simple.  Dinner was done by dusk and everyone landed on the sofa for I Love Lucy or The Red Skelton Show. As the year’s passed and we reached the teen years, Johnny Carson was added to our choices.  The TV went off after Johnny and so did we.  Lights went out and another day was done.  

Days were spent learning and playing if you were not our parents.  But, they always seemed to be living a slow life too.

Dinners were about good food, and good conversation. Evenings were filled with friends coming over to play cards or laughing together with extended family.  No one lived far away.

My parents were married just one month short of 50 years. 

One marriage and only with death did they part.  They built the house that they lived in, as newlyweds, and there they raised three children.  They had their differences, their challenges, and their fights.  But, in the end, they loved each other and their lives. Life was not perfect, but it was normal.  

No internet, no emails, no online banking.  Life was black and white, in hardcopy- not virtual.  We can never go back to those days, but we can reflect on them and learn to slow down.  Take a few days without the laptops, cell phones, and constant streaming.  Watch the sun rise, and set- both in the same day.  Maybe then, we can show our children- and even our grandchildren, a new normal. 

FEAR

It is hard to observe what is happening in our world right now.
Such a divide has developed between the left and the right- each thinking they are right, and the other wrong.
All along our freedoms being stripped moment by moment, day by day. Have we not become our own worst enemy?
I am a proponent, most of all, for knowledge.
Each human being’s curiosity for truth, their truth.
Each person is created unique but each able to learn and choose!
Who gives certain individuals the right to choose for the masses?
Why are the voices of brilliant humanitarians being censored, and sadly silenced?

Fear.
Does not the Bible say that there will forever be a battle on this Earth between Good and Evil?
Fear is the reining force.
As a civilization we are being pushed to one corner or the other out of fear. Does not the media try to put fear into the veins of those that look to it for information?
Are human beings not being herded like cattle and being told to be fearful of human touch?
As a civilization, are we too afraid to accept the obvious signs that there is indeed a power greater than all of us combined?
Is our society above previous societies corrupted by greed, power, and the search for immortality?
Have we learned nothing from history?

We are all created equal… it says so in our Constitution.
Then why are so many wise voices being censored and silenced?
Why are we risking the lives of so many and shaming and criticizing those that have an inner voice telling them that there might be more?
Do we not each and every one of us have the ability to choose touch and smiles over fear?
Do we not as individuals have a right to all of the science and research in the Universe to make our own informed decisions about what goes into our body?
Are our bodies no longer our own?

Do we not come into this world as a result of choice,
and leave this world alone?

Those that trust and believe in our Government, in our society- they are blindly following. Could it be that their individual lives are less important to the greed of Big Pharma and Big Tech and a few powerful individuals?
As a living breathing unique individual…
I have had my own personal battles with man thinking he has more power than God, than the universe.
We come into this world with one body.
We are responsible for taking care of that body. How we treat it, what we put into it, and whether or not we listen to the boundaries it gives us. Many of us know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that there is more to each of us than the physical bodies through which we experience this earth. There is a mind and a spirit.
We also have proof that these dimensions are meant to guide our paths. So why then are we being forced into silence?
Why are we being monitored, followed, and in fact controlled?
Why are we criticized if we speak up, yet others are allowed to spew opinion and rhetoric all around?

We only have one body, one life on this earth.
Choices are all around us.
Yet, we are not free to choose our own fate.
Has not evil seeped into our world enough to turn us against one another?
Please stand up for your rights as a human being.
Not only stand up for your choice to choose what goes into your body, but more importantly choose what goes into your mind.
There are humanitarians among us that have put their lives
on the line to save our world as we know it.
They are being silenced.
They are being censored.
We must stand up for our freedom of speech and our freedom of choice. Please, choose wisely what to believe.
Please, choose wisely.
Your life truly depends on it.

Stop Censorship!

Know your rights…

Are we still free?

I have been silent this past year. Maybe a better description would be shocked! It was as if the world stopped, then stood still, and now is spinning out of control. Can you relate?

Life was going along pretty normal last March. My oldest was away at his first year of college. The rest of the family, including the cats, were getting used to one less family member around and Mama hen was adjusting to having fewer “chicks” in the henhouse. New experiences, new joys!

Then, in March of 2020, the world as we knew it changed. Our household went from four to six as our son sheltered-in-place back home with us, along with his girlfriend. Our family initially enjoyed more time together, more game nights, and some down time as we watched the unfolding of what felt like a science fiction movie in the world.

I am sure we were not unique as we spent months adjusting to the new norm and the isolation… never would most of us have ever predicted that in our life time we would see the human smile obliterated, Churches shut their doors, outdoor trails roadblocked. What happens to a society when they are starved for human interaction, human touch, fresh air, fun, joy, laughter?

For months I felt paralyzed as all I could do was watch the horror unfold. Shocked that our Churches would not have more faith. Shocked that there would not be more said, or done, to address the inevitable emotional health crisis. No one talked about that! No one talked about the loneliness, the depression, the anxiety. I could just sense something was very “off”- not really being able to put my finger on it. Watching the news over and over, something felt surreal. Listening to our Governor day after day- finally it all started to get old. I went from alert and aware to confused and somewhat in despair.

What was I to do with my confusion over why there were golfers on the golf course, yet our Church doors were locked shut and my favorite regional park blocked off? How could Grocery services and delivery services be necessary (not to say that they are not) but being able to sit by a loved one’s hospital or nursing home bed and hold their hand, be any less vital? Something about this just did not seem to make any sense but it was all happening so fast that none of us had any time to think! But, there was one thing that I could sense. Humans were being driven apart and fear was keeping everyone from their innate ability to think critically. We were all thinking with our hindbrains, and panicked.

The very thing that keeps us alive and thriving was being banned and regulated: our ability to feel compassion from human touch, our ability to produce endorphins from seeing a human smile, and the healing power of laughter and camaraderie. Fear of other humans was instilled into our world! Some took their own lives. Some had heart attacks from the stress. No doubt some even died from loneliness- not having the mental capacity to understand loved ones’ sudden absence. Most, if not all, of these deaths were counted as “covid” deaths and not what they truly were… at best, deaths from natural causes. At worst, death which was caused by what a whole population agree was unnecessary isolation. The world was too panicked to really fact check the numbers and those that tried to were silenced, or blocked, or debunked. Why was our government, our medical establishment, and our big tech industry, so hell bent on silencing versus considering?

Never have I seen an entire world compliant. Odd as that might seem, when one really considers the FEAR that was instilled and the isolation that was forced, no wonder.

While I and many others were literally frozen in place, thought-leaders that I have known and admired were working tirelessly to try to share their insight, share their voice with the world. My own personal physician, Dr. Thomas Cowan, and the amazing Sally Fallon, shared enlightening science in their book: The Contagion Myth – Why Viruses (including “Coronavirus”) Are Not the Cause of Disease. The book was removed from Amazon immediately because Dr. Cowan, an accomplished physician, presents concepts that he and many other equally brilliant scientists, have studied for years that would challenge assumption and acceptance and encourage thought- more specifically, thinking out of the box. Does science not embrace new discoveries? We are all lead to believe that a Virus that has been around for decades (with many variants) is now causing global destruction, yet their science about germ theory and illness is literally pulled from the shelves? Why would this book be pulled when his many other publications were not pulled from the shelf like Human Heart, Cosmic Heart, Cancer and the New Biology of Water, and many similar best-sellers? That seems very obvious. I am so thankful that I bought copies for myself and my family before it was judged by Amazon that human beings with the ability to think critically for ourselves, should not be allowed to make our own choice about what we read and what we believe. This was when I became convinced that my gut feeling was more than a hunch and I started digging for evidence that our freedom of speech was truly being threatened by unwarranted censorship of published data, by attempts to debunk or deplatform any and all qualified and experienced clinicians and thought-leaders expressing a consenting opinion to their narrative… the narrative that must be accepted for the rollout of mass injections.

As 2020 came to an end, and 2021 came barreling in, the horror of what I saw unfold with my own two eyes was undeniable. More physicians that I had admired and followed for years, with decades of clinical experience and a library of best-selling books among them, were being blocked from the public view. Warriors for transparency and accountability, like the amazing Robert Kennedy, Jr. and the Children’s Health Defense, were ridiculed for truly caring about lives more than profit. Links to published studies were becoming unavailable as many of us began to search for the other side of the story. The side that obviously someone did not want known. The more I searched for the truth, the more unfolded about how much was being manipulated.

As a human being, as a curious person, as someone that thirsts for truth and knowledge I could not ignore what I know to be a breach of the rights that our forefathers set out for us in our Constitution. As a science major, a graduate student, as a previous pharmaceutical specialist that worked in world renowned medical schools, I understand the science. Good studies, and bad. Emergency use versus medically proven safe. As a wife, a mother, a sister, and a friend… I felt called to uncover ALL of the information I could, not just the sensationalized versions blasted on the television screen. It has been a most unusual, and I must add, sad year thus far.

More of our elderly die alone with their families faces pressed up against the glass. More of our children struggle with the fear of what their future holds. Dare they have the inclination to look closely and use their own minds to draw conclusions that what is being pushed as safe and in their own best interest might actually be modification of their future.

Fear has driven the world mad. Mad enough to not ask questions and get in line. For some, it is already too late and for them those of us that believe in a power greater than us all, know that our future is truly in HIS hands. For those that may still be uncertain we can hope and pray that the universe guides them to the right source of information and to all of the many warriors working to get the facts to the masses. For those afraid to follow their intuition, do not be. For that is the most powerful force in the life. For those that are confident in their knowledge stand firm and stand up for truth, honesty, and above all- our freedom of speech.

May God Bless all of us!

Those smiling Eyes!

Who would have thought as we rang in the new year, that midyear our lives would look like this? I am seldom speechless, but a hush fell over our family. Life will never be the same.

While there has been tragedy untold, confusion about reality, and the withdrawal from the pleasure of human warmth… there has been an unidentifiable connection.

Last week, my husband and I tried to resurrect our “date night.” Normally, that would have been a nice dinner and a movie. There has been so much togetherness that the date night has not seemed necessary. Weird is not the word. As hard as we tried to not complain, there was not too much excitement about heading out with face masks. However, we were excited to have someone else do the cooking, and the cleaning, for one night and we have tried to support our local business.

For me it was a bit unsettling. I felt very guilty about the young lady waiting on us. A few months ago, I would have been the diner and she the staff and there would not have been much more than a few pleasantries exchanged, but this was different. I was so torn between whether it was better that I was there giving this establishment business so that she would get paid and earn a tip, or should I NOT support the local business in hopes that this lady would not be expected to work her shift breathing in her own exhaust. I cannot hardly stand having my mask on to get through the grocery store, much less an 8 hour shift at a restaurant. Suffice it to say that I enjoyed my evening out much less than usual and I left the waitress a rather hefty tip.

On the flip side of this story is human kindness. I chatted with the waitress more than I normally might have because I was truly concerned about her. I empathized with how hard her shifts must be. Out of our relaxed exchange, I was struck over and over by her smiling eyes. Yes, we have lost something meant to be comforting, connecting for us all. Smiles. But, this young lady had the most beautiful smile and it was in her eyes. She clearly did not mind working in such less-than-ideal conditions and talked about the various jobs she was doing to get through… but, she was still smiling all the while. A smile that cannot be faked or concealed. I left the restaurant that night still conflicted about the quandary of eating out to support local business or just picking up but I did know one thing. Behind every cloud there is a silver lining and there will be one behind this one. I had never before noticed just how much about a person the eyes can tell. Until then, may be all learn to smile from our hearts and through our eyes.

Easter, A Time of Fresh Starts

        Easter has such significance… whether or not one is religious, all can feel the change that comes with the tiny green buds of new beginnings.  This year, more than ever before, there is a feeling of change that is so overpowering, it can sometimes be frightful. Never before had we heard the term “shelter-in-place” but now that is a phrase that none of us will forget. However, like all things in life, how we remember these times can depend on how we choose to look at them.

Some of us will no doubt be touched more than others.  There has been much loss and to those families that have, or will, lose a loved one… my heart goes out.  We all feel the threat of tomorrow.  However, if we allow ourselves to live in fear, that itself can do much harm.  We can choose fear or we can choose power.  There is so much power in reaching out beyond our own surroundings to our neighbors, to our community, and to our family.  There are so many ways to fill our hearts with compassion by sewing much needed face masks, by checking in on our elderly neighbors with a call, or even by establishing a circle of friends with whom to share grocery runs. Let us not forget our humanity!

While we are sheltered-in-place, and that is not ideal, we can choose to use this time to walk a little slower and notice the budding flowers.  We can choose to linger a little longer in conversation on the phone with our friends or family.  We can choose to take the time to ask a little more, and get to know a little more.  We can kneel a little longer in prayer.

Perhaps this Spring, more will be renewed than nature.  Families are at home together and hopefully they are sitting down together for meals and prayer daily.  This is an opportunity for all parents to play with their children more, and to be an integral part of their education… for so much can be taught from life itself!

In my household, it feels like someone turned back the hands of time.  After dinner, there is always a lively game being played at the table.  My teens now have the time to finally learn how to spin a top, and conquer a yo-yo.  Puzzles, coloring pages, basketball, volleyball, and even naps abound.  Life.  There is so much life in our home… so, as selfish as it may be, I find myself thankful for this renewal.

So, embrace the good with the bad if you can.  Focusing on gratitude, humanity, and love can keep us all strong throughout these challenging times looking forward to the new world that awaits us at the end of this crisis.  Perhaps more connection, more compassion, and more gratitude is the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.

Organizing on a Budget

Jars are great, affordable organizers and easy to clean!

Recycle those heavy-duty boxes as slide out shelves until you have enough saved for the real deal

Artistic Coffee Cans make great pencil and pen containers.

No money, no problem! Been there, done that. With a little patience, you can get organized without a single trip to a fancy container store! Read on…

I love order. I thrive on being able to find what I am looking for in my kitchen, in my bedroom, in my house. But, I find that when I am starting a “re-org” project, I get overwhelmed if I think “containers” before I work with my space.

So, to try to make this short and sweet, the first step to organizing your stuff requires little more than brain power.

In all of my decluttering/organinzing coaching I repeatedly remind my clients to think it through first and break it down into baby steps. So, let’s give this a try.

Step 1: Pick a hot spot- a place you frequent in your home that makes you feel frustrated or stressed. Then, if possible, within this space find an even smaller space that if organized, would make you feel a little less frustrated.

Step 2: Plan ahead. Set aside some time. Commit to this time. Put it on your calendar! Try to keep your commitment to yourself, to your joy!

Step 3: When the time arrives, and you are ready to begin… arrive on the scene with two brown paper bags. One will be trash that can go straight into your dumpster. The other can go straight to goodwill.

Always, always, always the first step is to go through your items and let go of those that you do not like, do not use, or simply do not want. Less is more.

Hint: Touch it or Toss it!

Step 4: Remember, our goal here is to not spend money on this project! For now, think about how you might best organize the content you want to keep. For example, I tackled my bathroom in this manner. Choosing first to tackle my top drawer which I use for make-up. First, I went through and tossed all of the make-up I did not use, or really did not like. Then, I sorted my “keep” items: brushes, eye make-up, lipstick upright with the color label visible, etc.

Notice how you are feeling while you are doing this. After I reorganized my make-up (which was followed by other drawers in my bathroom until eventually, the entire bathroom was done) I noticed how my attitude toward this mondane, daily task went from dread to pleasure.

Small baby steps are doable, they allow you to feel the difference once your space is organized, stays organized, and feels better. Once able to feel the difference you can make, you will have more momentum to tackle your next baby step.

Step 5: Now, here comes the creative and fun part. Think about fun containers that you may have around your home that could be up-cycled for your items… at least temporarily. One of my favorites: glass jam jars! I have them on all of my bathroom countertops to hold Q-tips and cotton balls. They look great and they function great. Other ideas: check book boxes, empty coffee cans, and all of the wonderful little Amazon boxes (with the tops cut off.) Costco has great, sturdy boxes that can be used in place of sliding shelves when you are working on your kitchen (see photo of my under sink solution above.)

Practice patience. Use items around the house and not only will this give you time to gradually purchase more permanent solutions, but in the interim you might change your mind about what to store where. Taking the project on in this way also prevents the overwhelm- emotionally and financially- which often blocks progress. Believe me, you will be proud of yourself for not letting anything stop your forward progress! At a later date, you may reward yourself by adding nicer containers, drawer lines, or the like but let that be your reward. You will deserve it!

Before sending you on your way let me say, that one of the most important aspects of de-cluttering and organizing is to keep it simple, and maintain it! Make sure that whatever little space you reclaim, you never let it go again. Life has a way of taking us by storm sometimes and if that happens, and you loose your little place of joy- regain that first before tackling anything more. You will find that you will be able to whip it back into shape in no time. Check back next week, I will share some tips for maintaining your space, once you get it under control. Visit me at SolutionsCoach.org for more about simple solutions to decluttering, organizing, downsizing, or managing time more effectively.

Until next week, happy de-cluttering!

Baby Steps to progress.

My apologies… those of you that follow me might have wondered what happened to me this week. Well, a picture is truly worth 1000 words! These photos are actual photos of what my kitchen looks like right now.

I do not know if it is just our family, but we seem to sometimes have a black cloud hovering above our lives. You know the old saying: “When it rains, it pours!” We are living examples that this saying is true.

2018 just about “did us in” as a family as we had more than our share of bad luck. But, I always hesitate to say this, as I know that we need to live with gratitude for all the we DO have. Suffice it to say that I started this DIY Kitchen project in December- it was our shared Christmas present to each other.
The difference between a quick DIY project and a disaster often depend on the planning. A well planned project can move along much quicker than one that is approached a little more hap-hazard. When we are working with others, this is not always under our control.

So, I have had to approach this project with several bottles of my favorite calming essential oils at hand. I am working with my husband and my two amazing daughters on this project. We all have our different strengths and weaknesses. My husband like to “mull over” things until I am just about to the point of exploding with “do it already!” As a Solutions Coach, I have to be as patient with him as I am with clients. This takes a lot of discipline because when it is your own space, your own home, there are lots more emotions!

We have lived in our house for nearly 7 years. I have planned out my “dream” kitchen in my head, and then on paper, for at least the past 6 years. Finally, at the end of 2018, we got started.

This has been rewarding on so many levels. It has felt great to be designing this “facelift” from the ground up myself. One of my greatest passions is cooking for, and with, my family. We all love to cook together. Homeschooling my kids, I have cooked three meals a day for the most part of the last 18 years. I also have a passion for healthy eating so we “make our own” as much as possible. That said, designing my own space has allowed me to costume fit our kitchen to our needs. It has given me the opportunity to give my family a voice in what they would like to have in our kitchen as well. Every detail has been a joint decision, from what appliances to purchase to what our kitchen hardware should look like. For the most part, we are a family that loves the character of the old and we preserve all that we can. This is why my 13 year old daughter sat for days polishing dozens of cabinet and drawer pulls!
My 16 year old daughter, with an eye for design and color, was the final voice of our choice of colors. This kitchen has been a family art project that I cannot wait to unveil.

That said, I am a bit of a neat freak- thus, my organizing business! Living with my kitchen in total disarray has taken muscle. However, I have looked past the here and now and allowed my mental vision of my updated kitchen to sooth me through the project. This is a skill that has gotten me through many phases of my life… mainly my menopausal years.

I was told several years ago “find your joy!” There have never been any wiser words. It took me a while to truly understand what this meant but now I seem to get it. We all have different things that bring us joy. One of mine, as I said, is my family and my home. Believe it or not, I feel joy when I cook for and with my family. I am able to have fun with cooking… a little of this, a little of that, and bam! I am a Cajun so I love to put on some loud music, get a good Roux going, and let my mood take over. Some meals I have made, I will never make again because I don’t measure, I just feel. Regardless, I live in my kitchen. It brings me lots of joy.

That said, I have had to “keep my eye on the sparrow” since this project began. There were the miscommunications between me and my husband. “You didn’t order the shelves! Again!” There was the totally off paint colors, the hinges that wouldn’t go back on the cabinet doors, and the cracks that got overlooked during the prep work. One unexpected thing after another. But then, there were the feelings of accomplishment when I was able to achieve my goals. Always, I had to break the goals down into small baby steps. Each day I worked, there was a goal for just that day. One day, that might be to get the walls wiped down with TSP. The next day it might be to tape off the walls and prep them for painting the next day. Some days, I had to listen to my body as it said, “NO, I am not getting up on a ladder and painting today!” Those days, I had to let it all go.

Every drawer has been emptied out. Every cabinet has been emptied out. All of our kitchen contents is in boxes stuffed into another room of our house. If I let myself get distracted by what is in my immediate presence, I start to fall apart but I have learned to catch that cycle and find the one small thing I can do that will make me feel I am making progress. My friends, I thought I could never learn to do this, but I did… and YOU can too!

So, what happened this week you may be wondering. Remember, this is a “weekend” project as we all have our regular schedules to stick to during the week. My husband currently working one-full time job and doing consulting on the side. Me homeschooling and doing the same. Well, after years of drought here in California, we are seeing much more rain than ever before. As we were nearing the end of the project, painting our breakfast room after patching up some cracks in the ceiling, we discovered we had an active leak. I woke up Tuesday morning to the noise of “drip, drip, drip” and as I rounded to corner of the breakfast room heading where else but for my much needed morning coffee, I stepped into a puddle.

As if this were not enough, that same day we received word that a home refinance we were hoping to get had been approved. We were so excited until we got word it was approved pending a “walk-through” appraisal. Oh no! Again, when it rains it pours. It was time to call in the troops and declare war. Now, we needed to do roof repair, THEN ceiling repair, before we could paint.

So, as is my usual course, I am challenged when life seems to want to get me down, to get “us” down as a family. I know that it is in the face of challenge that we grow. As a family, we will push through and “whip” our house into shape in time for this inspection. Our patience with our kitchen project will pay off. We just have to remember and keep our eyes focused on the outcome and not be discouraged. Baby step, by baby step, we will get to where we are going.

So, I missed my blog on Tuesday mainly because I really missed Tuesday. Ya’ll all know that some weeks, thank God not many, are like this. But, here I am on Thursday saying to all of you out there just keep taking those baby steps and you will get where you want to be. If you fall (or fall behind like I did this week) just get yourself up, brush yourself off, and go back to your baby steps.

If you feel you need help figuring out your baby steps, let me help you get started!

Until next week, keep a steppin’ my friends.

Don’t be a Fool

 

Oh what a beautiful morning!  I woke up and grabbed my usual cup of java and headed for the welcomed sunshine.  As I sat in my backyard and listened to the birds chirp, and felt the cool breeze against my skin, it almost felt normal.  Life I mean.  The way we all remember it… just a few weeks ago.

My morning had not started out so calm.  I don’t want to get to personal here, but I woke up to find the toilet paper roll in my bathroom empty.  Groggy and eyes half open I mumble to myself about the slackers that I live with being too lazy to put another roll on.  Let me clarify now, that I do not live with slackers, but in the early morning without coffee- in the midst of a pandemic, we might all be a little more critical about such tender issues.  That said, I reached over to my bathroom shelf where I keep my supply, remembering the comforting look of seeing it well stocked during this time of such a toilet tissue paper pandemic, and the shelf was empty.  Was I dreaming?  Was this a nightmare?  I knew that my son had managed a huge trade deal with a friends for toilet tissue and then my dear husband managed to “score” 6 more rolls at the grocery store.  I knew that I had assured the three other females in my house that crisis had been avoided for at least another week.  What was this, a hoax?

Well, the only solution was to climb back into bed and hit the snooze button.  Perhaps I would wake up and this would NOT be real.  Just as I dozed off my phone went “ding.” Here is the text I received.  The names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent! The same text had gone to my husband and my son.

“Hi.  This is SNOOPY.  WOODSTOCK gave me your numbers. Just wanted to apologize for the noise we made earlier, had to get back the toilet paper CHARLIE BROWN (my son) stole.  Sorry if we woke you.”

Toilet tissue thieves? You must be kidding me?  In my stupor and confusion, I run to check other bathrooms.  You must be kidding me.  These ruthless “friends” took every single roll we had! I am usually the nice Mom who is easy to overlook most anything but, without coffee, I shot off a blunt reply:

“SNOOPY, I thought CHARLIE BROWN “swapped” Japanese sodas for toilet tissue?  Did you take all of our toilet tissue???  I did hear noise, but assumed it was someone in the family up and about.  You know we have NO toilet tissue now? And, how did you get in our house? …Dude, you did not even leave us ONE roll!”

Some of you may have figured this out by now.  But for me, still uncaffeinated, the story continued. I was met in the kitchen by CHARLIE BROWN who, in an very shocked tone agreed with me about this egregious crime.  Then, he glanced out the window and shouted, my car! As he open the door, his car had been spray painted, as had my front door.  At that moment, I think I stopped breathing or burst a fuse.  But, I stood speechless and stiff.

Then, my son (alias CHARLIE BROWN) burst out laughing and threw a 6-pack of toilet tissue at me.  The whole thing had been a great big April Fool Hoax he conjured up with his friend.  Once the shock of what felt like an unbelievable nightmare wore off, which was pretty quickly, I laughed and then of course… borrowed my son’s amazing plot and played the same trick on my two daughters when they woke up!  …and it worked!

So, the moral of my story is don’t be a fool.  Know that with the bad times, there will be some moments that we will never forget.  I am sure anyone in the world right now will be able to understand the humor in a roll of toilet tissue one can find these days!

The sun will come up again tomorrow.  We are not “having” to stay home with our kids, we are “getting” to “be” home with our kids. Sometimes I am thankful that we have turned back the hands of time in a way.  Our family gathers and prays at the dinner table again.  We sit and play games together again.  We talk to one another!

So if you read this, and it made you laugh… pass those giggles along to someone you love.

My son that plotted this whole thing would be 5 hours away at college right now and I would be lying if I said that I was NOT happy to have him home a little longer.  April Fool has always been one of his favorite days of the year because he always remembers it, and the rest of his family- including me, forgets it.  We were all blessed today to be the victims of one of his April Fools’ hoaxes for one more year!

Remember, “laughter is the best medicine” so if this made YOU laugh, my goal was achieved.  If this nudges you to go tickle your kids, or better yet play a prank on them, then even better.  Every single person in the world can use a good dose of laughter today.

So, don’t be a fool and lose sight of all the opportunities for laughter and joy around you.

Happy April Fool’s Day!

 

Stop and Smell the Roses

This week I promised to write on how to maintain your space, once you have organized it. However, when I sat down at the keyboard, another topic seemed more pressing. So, please forgive me if you are disappointed. I promise next week to go back to the topic of organizing!

This week I feel the need to talk about balance. How can one word have such significance? How can one thing seem to be so difficult to achieve?

When my children were young, I thought life would be a easier when they were older and more self-sufficient. Wrong!

This photo of my daughter was taken nearly 13 years ago. But, the memories that this photo provokes are of those days when I could not help but stop. I had to stop and smile. I had to stop and laugh. I can still feel the way my body felt on those days! My heart seemed to skip as if to be talking to me. It was telling me “watch them, enjoy them, savor this moment.” Somehow I had an instinct about how fast time was passing and I snapped as many photos as I could, without distracting from the moment. I video taped moments that I will cherish forever. On this particular day, my little girl wanted to simply enjoy the rain. Still in her nightie, she wanted to stand outside with her umbrella and do nothing but watch and play with this feat of nature. I followed. I stopped. I became childlike again, with her.

For readers with young children, my advice to you is that you allow yourself the joy of revisiting childhood through the eyes of your children. You have heard it before, but it never quite sinks in until you have passed through it. Life goes fast- achieving balance is oh, so important.

I cleaned my own house, and it was not a small house. I did my own laundry, cooked my own meals, and took care of my children. It was a very hard time.
I remember how tired I was. I had lost my Mom on a day I would never forget- my son’s 1st Birthday. This was a huge hurdle. Not that I would have ever forgotten my Mom but her death- unexpectedly, on my son’s 1st birthday, challenged me to feel pain and joy at the same time. In the days, and years, that have followed I have had to deal with conflicting emotions quite frequently. We can feel more than one emotion at a time and they can be totally conflicting. I truly had to accept feeling pain and joy simultaneously! I had to celebrate. I had to grieve. In fact, maybe this was life’s way of showing me the complexity of human emotions.

In hindsight, I can see that my young family made achieving balance a bit easier. Think about it. Who can avoid getting drawn into the coos of a new baby? Who can resist becoming a part of the imaginary world of a toddler? Is this the divine design of the human? My 18 month old son could do nothing but make me smile. My 18 year old son can, without intention, upset my mood. Once one becomes aware of these natural phenomenons, then one can be in greater control.

What I hope to convey with my story, is awareness. Many of us get caught up in the constant to-do’s of life and we start to lose balance.
It is hard to resist the constant pull of our action list, and it is easy to miss years of joy if not careful. Depression and menopause is what woke me up- and a very, very talented therapist that taught me to tune into my body and listen to how I was feeling.

Just as a nursing Mom has a higher level of Oxytocin, the “feel good” hormone which allows her to get through the sleepless nights and still feel the joy of the baby in her arms, allowing ourselves to feel our emotions throughout our lives can be our best healer.

So, I look back at this adorable photo of my daughter taken over a decade ago, and at first I feel a pang of sadness. Sadness that this precious little girl seems to have grown up too fast. But, with practice,I have learned not to shy away from that sadness. I sit with it. I use it as a spark to light the fire of gratitude inside my heart. I allow myself to go back to that moment if the memory of it is taking over my body. I allow my memories to work on me. I don’t want to get stuck in the past, but I want to appreciate those moments, not be saddened by them… for why should I be sad? Yes, my children are not babies anymore. They are bright, independent teens with opinions that sometime differ from mine. But, they are an achievement. They are the beautiful outcome of a blessed life. And, whether or not one has children, there are all sorts of blessings for which to be grateful. It is in stopping to count those blessings,
to reflect, that we can slow ourselves down from the hustle and bustle of the daily checklist, to recognize the need for balance.

I doubt that anyone cares to remember hours spent behind a computer screen catching up on emails, days spent on housework, or the like. Don’t get me wrong, these tasks are necessary. But, feeling it of equal importance to go for a hike, play a board game, or simply have a coffee with a friend is paramount.
We are living in a time when face-to-face conversations are becoming rare.
Parents, encourage your children to leave their devices behind and go for an outing to your favorite places- or find new age appropriate favorites. Take your kids out to dinner and be intentional about looking into their eyes when you talk to them. Talk about their interest. Ask them to engage with you if you have to… be gentle, be kind. Understand that they are under their own pressures that are different than those we grew up with. It is okay to tell them what you are doing. You are making sure that you are “feeling” them. You are showing them that they matter.

Those of you without children, or with children no longer living at home, make sure that you connect one-on-one with friends. Face-to-face. And, more than anything, connect with yourself. Take inventory of your days. Are you working all the time, or are you taking the time to remember and do those things that bring you joy? Life is so very short and it is easy to miss it while we are trying to keep up.

Balance is something I struggle with more today, then 10 years ago when I had babies in tow. However, as I struggled to fight depression, I learned to look at my life from the outside in. I tried to observe the patterns. When do I lose control? When do I lose my temper or fall into what feels like a pit of despair? Almost always it is when my life falls too far out of balance. Sometimes, there is a crisis on hand that I simply have to deal with and get through. But, the more I become aware of my life and how my emotions negatively affect me when I am out of balance, I can begin to get balance back. I walk away. I go for a drive, I go for a hike, I go to a movie.

I live within a short drive of the most beautiful stretch of highway along the Pacific Ocean. This past weekend, my two older children were both away at engagements. My husband and I were under immense pressure to complete neglected home improvement projects. I don’t function well under pressure, especially when very tired and recuperating from illness. I was unable to push through the tasks at hand. I was feeling angry. I could feel myself unable to complete tasks that I usually can complete. I was fighting my own body… until finally I followed my own advice.

I did not want to spend another entire weekend working on my house- even though I love my house and truly enjoy making it a lovely home for our family. I am very aware of my children growing older and the opportunity for connections between us being less frequent. I wanted to spend some quality one-on-one time with my youngest daughter.

So, for the sake of balance, I walked out. Her and I got in the car not knowing where we were going. All I knew was that being on the water soothes my soul, so we headed for the Coast. I asked my daughter to allow me to “follow my heart” and not have a destination for the moment. This is hard for a 13 year old. They want to see the beginning, the middle, and the end. But, she indulged me. I drove due West until I hit the Coast and then turned South. It was as if I could feel the chains around my heart unravel. I noticed how I was starting to take deep breaths and feel as if I were breathing easier… in fact, I was. My daughter’s face began to lighten- for even she had become unbalanced. She was trying to help her Mom & Dad to complete the projects. Working and not enjoying. Her furrowed brow and serious tone subtly turned into a bright smile.

Starting out on our adventure down the Pacific, she did not have any desire to stop and enjoy the vista. Within a half hour, she was out in the cold, windy surf taking pictures and skipping along with joy. I just kept driving until soon we were high-fiving with each other as we drove along. After a while, our destination seemed to come to us. It was as if our guardian angel, who knew just what we both needed, came to us. We drove. We stopped and snapped pictures- her of the surf, me of her. We laughed. We sang. We tried to find the end of a rainbow.

We took our time and when we got to our destination, a wonderful restaurant just south of Carmel, we changed clothes and “dolled up” in the car. Two silly girls having fun! We walked into a crowded restaurant, a Mom and her girl and felt quite proud of what we had done. I cannot say that I have felt as satiated as I did that night in a long time. I had done it! I had taken control of my life. It was as if I grabbed the moment and said, “no, I will not let you slip away!” I had turned anger into joy by allowing my body to tell me just what it needed, and I listened. I had made a much desired, and much needed, connection with my daughter. We made a new memory. I demanded balance, and balance I got.

We drove home that night and the next day, we both woke up and helped complete the project… much happier to be working.

So, don’t give up and certainly don’t give in. You too can learn to listen to your body and strike a balance. And, with practice, it gets easier and easier to recognize the signs of imbalance in ones life. Life is too short to miss out!

So, drop in next week where I will discuss keeping up, versus catching up, which also makes it much more possible to have balance.

Until next week, don’t forget to Stop and Smell the Roses!